Somehow I let Gray & Yellow out of my hands, and then they ran up the hill. Then they got into the woods. I cursed them and said Goddammit, why don't you get out of those woods this instant?! (I was frustrated). I had nothing ELSE to do, but sit on the ground and WAIT. I had walked to Annabelle's without anything in my pockets, so all I had were my thoughts, meditation, & memories. I said the St. Patricks' Breatstplate prayer and thought about God being asleep in the sky, dreaming a dream about me that is my life, or that I am God, up asleep in the sky, and my life is really just a dream of his, and he will eventually just go BACK to his working day, when he wakes up, or when I "die", so I had better live the best life that I can. I thought about how badly I need a girlfriend. I realized I had been 10 years without a good one, and I was sick, sick, sick of it. I was really ready to get to know her, and have her get to know me, spend some time with her. Touch her and squeeze her. The cats stayed in the woods for at least 45 minutes, after many interjections of Get the FUCK out of there, or hurry the fuck UP and get out of there. "Jesus is just alright with me." I accidentally let my hand rest on an electric fence and it sure zapped me. I did it a second time, which was a mistake. I thought it might be good to just keep one of these in your bedroom, because you could wake up really fast & easy with one of those around! Finally, I started climbing up the hill to pick up the cats myself out of the woods. I managed my way through nettles & thorns, and, eventually I picked up Yellow, and held him for a few minutes, waiting for Gray to come around, and we could go home. I squeezed him twice, hard, to show him discipline, and to show him not to run away from me again: he didn't- Then, he scratched and broke his way free (shame on me), and then...I picked up Gray. I squeezed her hard twice, and she "yowled" each time. I put her down, trusting that she would take this as a sign of trust, and would not run away again, but she ran away within the 5 seconds after I put her down. Now I was back to square one. I chased them complained and sat down on stumps for the next 30 minutes. I kept on thinking about how I have CREATED my own reality, that we all possess different pasts and futures, that the present is the only moment we really share, that anything anyone has ever done to me was totally justified, and so I take 100% of the responsibility for everything that has ever happened in my life. I kept chasing the cats, but I was sick of it 15 minutes ago, twenty minutes ago, and they just kept on stubbornly escaping my grasping hands. It was increasingly worrying, and I was worried I would be building up too much negative energy wavelength-pattern/ habit; I just wanted to END the motherfuckin' chase as soon as possible, and go home, and read a book, or watch TV, or masturbate, or play guitar, or eat. They were driving me to my wit's end. Finally, I caught Yellow in my right hand, and I slammed his body against a rotten log a couple of times just to show him that I didn't take no bullshit, and that he had been doing wrong. I told him to stay still: he understood. Until I catch Gray....Gray climbed up on some high stumps or rotten logs, and I had to climb up on top of them myself in order to catch her, grab her, hold her and take em home. I was successful! Now, I started pushing my way through the woods back to the main road. Gray kept on wiggling in my arms. I said: 'what part of STAY STILL don't you understand?' Finally we made it back to the main road, and I called them 'stupid' and 'dumb' a few times. What were they thinkin, running away from me like that for more than an hour, driving me nuts and wasting my day away? I was so mad, I decided to slam them down onto the concrete for sheer antagonism and spite. They hit the ground (with a little too little force), and both of them scattered in two different directions, Yellow toward the woods again, Gray towards the opposite side of the road. I chased after Yellow first. He ran frantically towards the woods, and had just gotten beyond the threshold of the thorny bushes, and I just GRABBED his tail, and said. "get the fuck back over here!" Immediately, I started to chase after Gray, but she quickly ran into the next door neighbors' woods, next to their mailbox. I was particularly embarassed, because I really didn't want to bother the neighbors, and I knew I was right on or in front of their property, begging my CAT to COME OUT OF THE WOODS, again! I held Yellow very tightly for 3 minutes, and told him to tell his sister to come out of the woods if he didn't want to be squeezed so hard...Well, she didn't come out, yet, so I decided to put him down on the ground, and test his trust if, he wanted to stay within close proximity, where I could GRAB him, or be like a PUNK, and run back in the woods, again. I guess he wanted to appear trustworthy, cause he stayed out in the sunlight for a few minutes and, as the cats may have been doubting the intelligence of my intentions, the sun broke wild & free from the clouds and shone bright, bright, bright, on everything that was around us, the leaves on the trees and the whole environment, the sky itself. It took about two minutes, but Yellow must have decided to run himself back into the woods, again because that's what he did. Now I was faced with waitin' for the two cats, basically, back at square one, OUTside of the woods, right in front of the neighbor's house! What the fuck was I to do? I was faced with either sitting in front of the neighbors' house until my cats came out, or just plowing in there and trying to find them, and grab them- into the woods. I chose the former, and sat down 8 feet to the left of their mailbox, which I thought was sufficient distance away to not bother them, and wait for my cats. Next to the house, a little girl asked 'who are you?'. I said "Slade." My name is Slade. I am waiting for my cat in the middle of your woods. I sat for 20 minutes, and then I hear 'Scraaackkk!; and it was a coyote- even though it was only 6 o' clock- attacking something in the woods right where I thought Yellow should be. Then he ran off in the distance, up the hill. I thought: uh oh. Yellow just got....killed. It made me feel very sad. I felt sorry for Yellow! I thought he didn't have that good of a life. Mostly we played the Spiritual String. I left him alone in the woods a little too much. I gave him an awful lot of education, and we talked philosophy, a lot- life and death, and the meaning of everything, the significance of both. His life was short....I thought he considered my writing, which he can usually hear out loud when I am doing it, to be a little OFF, a little weird. Uninteresting....I felt guilty, and was worried I was going to become extremely depressed. Now Gray had no one to sleep with, or talk to; they had been the best friends, there was no one to take the pressure off of me for when the times got lonely for Gray. Usually, I am just alone, writing my book, or something, and I let those Two keep each OTHER company. I was worried all of this was going to change, and got very worried. Gray came out of the woods, and I motioned with my hand for her to get her ASS over here! Eventually, she moseyed on up to me, and she acted as if nothing was wrong; there was nothing wrong! She was not showing any signs of despair, and was purring....I thought she was just putting on a show; I thought she was just putting on a facade of emotion. I thought about what my mom said: when Albus died, she didn't think Volde even noticed. How ridiculous! Cats put on a show every day for human beings. Of course she noticed it; Albus was her own brother: I gauged Gray's eyes for reactions to the event. I recited Catherine Janssen Irwin's 'A Prayer For Children', and felt particular poignancy at the 'and when then this life is over...' part. A red car drove by, and she must have gotten scared, 'cause she panicked and ran across the street and almost ran underneath the car's wheels. I thought, it might be easier if she did; then I wouldn't have to take care of her all by myself. But soon, I thought better of this, thought and thanked goodness she didn't get killed by the automobile wheels. She got all the way to the woods on the other side, and she went in. Then a man drove up in this white van and asked me if I was alright. I said, 'Yes.' He said, 'Alright,' and just drove into his driveway. He must have lived there. After he had parked the van, he walked up to me. He asked where I lived. "Up the hill." He asked me with who. I told him I used to live with two cats, but now I only lived with one; the yellow one had just gotten eaten by a coyote. He said he didn't think there were any coyotes in this neck of the woods. Eventually Gray came out of the woods. The man said she looked like a wild cat, and I said she just watched her brother get killed by a coyote; that's probably why she's acting like that; she lives with me, alone; that might be one thing. He asked me my name. I said it's Slade. I asked him his name. He said it was Devin. He said "honestly, I was just coming up here 'cause my wife called me and said you were sitting in front of our house, and scaring our daughter" I said I was sorry, and just explained a second time about what had happened with the cats. Across the street, a yellow cat comes pokin his head out of the bushes. 'Is that him?' he asked. I thought it was, but I didn't have my glasses on so I didn't know for sure. 'I think so, let me see; pick him up and bring him back over here, let me see.' And low & behold, it was the real Yellow! It was a miracle. It lightened my spirits significantly. I felt delivered, relieved.....
I kissed Yellow several times and thanked god he was still alive.....
He rode me back up the hill.
I said I was sorry to bother his family. He said there is nothing to worry about. We shook hands.
He said goodbye, I walked back into my house. I said goodbye, he drove off back down the hill in his van…..
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