If You Wanna Know, + The importance of being able to stand up to authority

If You Wanna Know

if you wanna know,

someone i could be,

without telling lies,

i was there to be.

my heart is online,

giving things away,

hoping for a prayer,

wishing for a dream.

if i've hurt someone,

i apologize.

no one's perfect here,

stay responsible.

what is true today

might not be the next.

play your cards with poise.

always knock on wood.

if i've told a lie,

i didn't mean it.

take your life with pains.

no one gets out free.

pay the price to play,

know the price of work.

don't forget your place.

don't move far away.

Things are alright here. I read a book called Einstein's Dreams last night, and all morning. It was a vignette of "dreams" that Einstein supposedly (in this fictional world) had about the nature of time before he cracked his theory of relativity.

I did some embarrassing things when I was a child. In the book, there was a story about a boy who couldn't hold 'is water when he was in elementary school. I had the same problem. I told the teacher, 'I need to go, I need to go,' but she told me that I would have to wait, that I Really didn't have to go that bad. I chalk this experience up to an inability to Fully communicate, and a complex w/ authority. I don't like having to Deal w/ authority; I just don't like dealing with it, and try to avoid circumstances where I must answer to it on a constant basis. Unfortunately, as a child, you have to be around your teacher 5 days a week, and what the teacher says, usually in the mind of a small child, goes. THEY'RE the adults; you're just a child. If the teacher says you really don't have to go, or just finish this quiz first, or you can hold it, you can hold it, and if your communication skills are not too strong, where you can stand up and say, No, I Really need to go, then you might pee in your pants before the teacher will listen and understand that if You Don't Go Right Now, you Really Will pee your pants. Kids don't take these things too seriously. They let it roll off of them like water off a duck's back. They don't identify themselves too much w/ the experience. I didn't THINK it was too much of a big deal; if the teacher won't let me run to the restroom after I've told 'er that I really need to go, then that's on her! I do remember being embarrassed in front of Jamie Meshew and Elizabeth Gignilliat, though. No one really poked fun at me for it. I don't really remember hearing anything about it. I'm sure there were some things said, but I don't think they were extremely relentless or mean-spirited. Very few remarks actually directed at me. I think I got a few, but not much. I can't remember them, just something vague. People laughing at me, mad at me. I can't help it. It's part of the past, now. Life comes around in cycles; I just pray that in my next life, I can be well-behaved enough and well-disciplined enough to know the difference between Questioning authority and disobeying authority. How to Communicate with authority. How to Communicate with them to get your genuine Needs met. Too shy in the face of authority? Too quick to back down? Knowing that to speak back to authority is not to subordinate it, is not dangerous, will not get you hurt, that Authority is really our Friend, who wants what's best for us as long as it's best for society, who Will listen to our legitimate complaints or grievances, who won't get mad at us for expressing ourSelves, if it's for the need of Changing something that Really Needs to be Changed, who would rather that we stand up for ourselves than efface ourselves