Fresh Ideas 10/8/2022

My ideal girlfriend and I must each put forth 100% effort, either one of which represents 50% of the total amount invested in the relationship.

People are evil in their stupidity.

Nature of life: when you've failed, try again.

Anyone who can't be serious can't display a sense of humour.

If you admit the sin, it makes it twice as forgivable as that that you do not admit.

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The ideal way to take a shit is to squat and crouch down to the ground so that your knees are higher than your ass. You don’t want to be full of shit. You are trying to excrete as much shit as you can. The more like a squat, the better. The more pronounced the elevation of your knees, the better. In Russia, I have heard from a close source, their toilets are essentially just openings in the floor.

Water is the ideal way to clean your ass; toilet paper is an insufficient, inadequate, and unsatisfactory way to clean your ass. That is why bidets are ideal; this is why they were invented. 

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I want perfect relative pitch. It is what I am after.

The best way that I have discovered to read is to point at the words not with your physical finger, but w/ your vestigial, imaginary finger as it lies in your lap.

The best way that I have discovered to eat is to give your audience a warning when you are going to swallow; you are not in this alone. 

Writer's Advice: The simplest phrasing is always the best.

You always want the best word possible. There is always the right word that fits your need. The insight that I had, however, was that oftentimes the word you want may not even be in your vocabulary, yet; you still have to learn it. It's a little bit like when you need a certain, specific tool, but your house doesn't contain it. You may have not even heard of the tool that you need. Maybe it hasn't been invented yet.