MY COMPLAINTS ABOUT WHAT MARILYN HAS BEEN DOING TO ME FOR 2 YEARS, WHAT THE CHURCH HAS BEEN TO ME FOR WELL ON 5 YEARS, AND WHAT MATT, JOE, AND JORDAN HAVE BEEN DOING TO ME FOR OVER 6 YEARS

What I really fuckin hate is when someone starts ignoring you out of the blue without any explanation. It’s like one day they’re talking to you, and then the next BAM, they just start igNoring you without Any explanation. They don’t exPlain what you did wrong, they just put up a wall of supPosed impenetrability about themselves. They start Ghosting you without Any explanation. What did *I* do wrong? It would help if you could be proDuctive and exPlain to me what *I* did wrong along with an explanation that You plan to igNore me, O, forever, perhaps. I mean I can speculate, but I will Never Know for Sure, and I’m Just As Likely to do it to Someone Else not knowing what it was if You don’t explain it to me. I don’t know. You didn’t Educate me. You’re just hurting me. The church has done it. Matt, Joe, and Jordan have done it. Marilyn has done it. What the fuck did *I* do Wrong? If you don't Tell me, how the FUCK do you expect me to learn? Am I really your Enemy? Don’t you have the courtesy to exPlain to me what I did wrong? I mean, I am relaTively Clueless. Don’t I deserve that much resPect from you? I don’t expect to hear from the Church, again, Matt, Joe, or Jordan, again, Marilyn, again. Am I really That evil? What did I do that you can’t simply write me a simple, courteous, respectful note that exPlains what I did to offend you Soooo bad? ‘Cause right now I really don’t Know. I suppose I don’t deserve that much respect... I suppose whatever I did was So egregious that I don’t even deServe the courtesy of an exlaNation as to what it Was. How do you expect me to LEARN? All I’ve LEARNED this way is that you HATE me and don't care even one Bit if you HURT me don’t even consider me worthy of an explaNation as to WHAT I DID WRONG.

If it were me, I would write me a Brief note that stated sucCinctly what was MOST offensive, along with the explaNation that it was Simply Unforgivable, and so You simply Cannot disrespect yourSelf Ever talking to me again, to please Never— ever contact me aGain! If you Do, I will not Answer you, so Don’t expect a resPonse. That is what *I* would do. 

But then again I guess *I* am more respectful, I love you more than you love me, and I have more apparent Common Sense. 

I guess so. I don’t think you people should ghost people like This. It’s Simply WRONG. 

You can’t build up a wall around yourself and exPect to be resPected as a human Being.

I don’t resPect you as human Beings. I reSent my sister. I reSent Matt and Joe and Joe. I reSent the church. They are evil, sinister sinners in my eyes. They can’t even disPlay the human inTelligence or Sentiment or Warmth or Empathy to resPectfully, poLitely, Decently adDress me with a Note of Caring, Concern, or considerAtion that reveals displays or shows that they Know that I care about Them, and Miss their atTention and Crave it, but that They will Not be giving it to me because of SOMETHING (What? I don’t know.) that *I* have done wrong...

Again, I can Guess what I did wrong, and it might Even be Accurate. But at Best Semi-accurate. Because only You know, and only You can explain to me eXactly what *I* did Soooo wrong, that was Soooo evil, that was so irReparable that You feel you’re Justified in Ghosting me inDefinitely, maybe forEver. 

Or if you think you’d be okay talking to me in maybe 5, 10, 15 years, can’t you Just Say that in a short note and then send it to me, and then *You* don’t have to think of *Me* for 15 years— don’t have to think aBout *Me* for 15 years *I’ll* know that *I* shouldn’t expect to hear from you for about 15 years. But at least I’ll Know that, and won’t be on Pins and Needles Wondering if I’ll Ever hear from You EVER AGAIN…. Of course, NONE OF US IS GRANTED TOMORROW. So I can see eXactly how much *I* matter to *You*! Of course, I love you more than that... It’s like the song, ‘I’m Alone Because I Love You:’ 

‘I'm alone because I love you,

Love you with all my heart.

I'm alone because I had to be true.

Sorry I can't say the same about you.

Yesterday's kisses are bringing me pain.

Yesterday's sunshine has turned into rain.

I'm alone because I love you,

Love you with all my heart.’